Thoughts this Sunday

I have this friend whose partner is going abroad to pursue higher education. They’re going to be separated for a minimum of three years. They’re around twenty-six years old.

It’s really none of my business that’s why when he was sharing the news with me all I can do was support him and their decision. But now that I’m alone with my thoughts, I can’t help but wonder if that would’ve happened to me, what would I do? Would I make the same choice?

If I was twenty-six years old and my then boyfriend (now husband) would tell me that he would like to go abroad to go study, I would let him go but I’d like some sort of assurance that he and I would still be together once he comes back. It better be a big decision like – a proposal or investing in a house – whatever it might be, I need that assurance from him. I couldn’t and shouldn’t stop him from pursuing his dreams but I’m twenty-six already. I need to know and I need to be assured that he’s going away because he wants to follow his dream and not because of our relationship.

It’s a big ask. Who knows what’ll happen in the three years we are apart. That’s why having some sort of commitment will hopefully motivate us to stay devoted to our relationship. But let’s also be real, even with the commitment itself, feelings do change especially if there’s distance involved.

While mulling this over, I had to ask my husband his thoughts on this. His answer is that if it would’ve happened to us, he would break up with me. He believes that it’s always better to have freedom rather than being committed to someone and then hurt them. It’s not breaking up because you think your relationship isn’t going to work but rather breaking up because you want the other person to be free to experience things. He wants to support his partner but not tie her down.

To this, I said, well what if I meet someone new there? He goes, well at least you didn’t hurt me and you don’t have to feel guilty about it. He basically wants to break up but he also wants his partner to come back to him, eventually. Is it me or does my husband think weirdly?

I still don’t know the right answer to this. What’s worse is there is no right answer. You’d have to put into consideration everything in your relationship before making a decision. The only right decision here is letting your partner go. Relationships shouldn’t hold you down. Your partner should support you and push you out of your comfort zone.

LDRs sometimes work but sometimes it also fails. Love and relationships are always a little tricky. The only thing I can really say is to love hard and love true.

If you were in their shoes, what would you do? (ps. I may or may not tell them your comments for fun.)

Photo by Alex Iby on Unsplash


Thoughts while I’m working from home this Tuesday

I think the first thing I have to put here is a disclaimer, lol. I got this idea from Victoria. Her version of her random thoughts can be found here. V, if you’re reading this, I’m not making fun of you. On the contrary, your post has somewhat reminded me to properly credit where I get my ideas. It takes less than a paragraph to do so plus more traffic (hopefully) for you and me. For the other bloggers out there, this part is just a beautiful reminder to make the blogging community a fun place to spend your days/nights in by properly giving credit where credit is due! ❤

In the News | Vol. 2

Gab Mejia is a part of the WWF Youth Council. He is also aiming to be the youngest Filipino to climb the 7 summits. He is all sorts of amazing! As I was scrolling through his Twitter feed, I saw a tweet that piqued my interest. I want to share with you my opinion on it in hopes to have a discussion about it. 

On Influencers and Blogging

I previously had this long draft post about influencers. The whole point of the blog post was there are some who just live their lives, influencing others, even if they aren’t really influencing others for the better. There they are just influencing people, the youth to be specific, about curating perfect lives and throwing everything we’ve ever known out the window. That was my blog post, a half rant on the influencer situation on the internet and how it is affecting our society.

I was about to publish it when my favorite blogger Tricia Gosingtian wrote a personal piece on quitting blogging for work on her blog. I had a lightbulb moment. The influencers are not the problem, it’s the system. 

I’d say 80-90% of bloggers start out with only one thing in mind – to document and share their lives. They want to join a community where you can say and share whatever you want. However, there is a booming business and profession of influencing other people nowadays. There is no real qualification, only that you look good and have a decent following. This is the problem.

I think that companies and brands look at the numbers and how the person looks without looking any deeper. They get stuck looking at the superficial and put front and center people who look the part but can’t play it. In the end, it’s a numbers game for these brands and with influencers left and right who make it look all too easy, no wonder people are trying to do the same (myself included).

Which brings me to the whole point of this post.

We can’t stop the trend when it comes to influencers nowadays but we can control and be wiser about the people who influence us and the people around us. We have to be more critical of who they are and look beyond what they offer besides their looks and aesthetic feeds. We can’t stop the system. We can’t stop these influencers and brands from posting their perfectly curated posts and shots but what we can do is to be wiser about it. We can demand better ads. We can demand better influencers. We can look at far more than what meets the eyes.

We can’t control what goes up on the internet but we can control how we let it affects us. The next time you see that influencer who looks cute with her sponsored everything, think twice about letting her influence the way you dress and where you buy it. Think about your principles. Do you believe in consumerism? Do you really need to go shopping? Is she making you feel jealous? Do you want to be like her? What is she really selling and should you buy it?

We have to remember to think for ourselves. The world nowadays is filled with too much information. It is up to us to learn how to filter through the noise and find what really counts (this post included).

Photo by Elijah Macleod on Unsplash