I was daydreaming this morning during my morning commute. I was suddenly lost in my own thoughts while staring at a bumper of another car. I was suddenly thinking of my dad and the could have beens if he was alive. It’s a little painful to think of it but this morning those thoughts filled my head.
It’s his birthday in a couple of days and I reminisce of the times when I’d give him the lousiest gifts but he’d still accept it or when I’d give him fancy gifts but he’d never use it. Or when he’d pick me up or drive me to work even if I was in my twenties. Or the time he went with me to school and gave me a crash course on how to enroll myself and commute without him. Or the time he forgot to pay for my tuition fee and his cheque bounced, lol. My head is filled with the little details. I miss him.
There’s also this video I watched that might have added to my emotions. It starts at 6:49.
Daughter, now you are going to be a wife and a mother of your children. And your life will continue like that. But my daughter, even if you become somebody’s wife and somebody’s mother, don’t give up your own happiness. Don’t forget you are daddy’s precious little girl. Never forget that you and me, we’re all important.
July is slowly becoming my least favorite month. It never gets easier. These moments suddenly hit out of nowhere. You think you’re okay and that you’re used to it now but then boom – you’re not.
If you ever lost someone, I hope you’re okay and I hope, like me, your coping in whatever way you know how.