Currently my life revolves around working, cooking, and trying to lose weight. I have lost motivation to blog about anything. When May started, I decided to put my blog on private and see what I realize after doing it.

Here’s what I realized.

  1. I can live without blogging and sharing to the rest of the world whatever is going on in my head.
  2. I can live without it but my husband is getting sick and tired of being my outlet/therapist.
  3. I don’t really want to share anything specific about my personal life – like my name, face, job, or personal preferences – anymore. But I’m way past that. I can and will be more candid about it in the future though.
  4. I have written a hundreds of posts and comments. Some of my previous posts and comments suck! Some show how immature I was. It’s not the look I’m going for but once it’s out there it’s out there. I was reading some and some just sounded like I wanted attention which would be understandable since there was a time when I wanted to grow my blog and I read somewhere that commenting is the best way for people to visit your blog.
  5. I shouldn’t be ashamed of #4. We all grow and if I didn’t write those things, I wouldn’t have realized how immature I was. I probably wouldn’t have thought that there is still room to grow. I also wouldn’t have realized that money for blogging isn’t my thing if it wasn’t for that.
  6. I still like to share some things on this space but I want it to be more filtered and sensible.
  7. I still want to write but I want to write for myself more.
  8. I feel old. Why do I still want to blog?

I don’t really know if I figured anything out in my time away. Maybe the time away isn’t enough to figure out what I really want. Happy half time. I hope the next six months of 2019 will be amazing for both you and I.

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21 thoughts on “Half time

  1. Number 3, I am way past that. I moved to blog here on wordpress with the hope of being anonymous, I had every intentions of doing so. But in the end I realized that nope, being anynomous is not the way to achieve the kind of blog that I aspire to have though honestly that my blog right now is nowhere near the kind of blog that I aspire to have. HAHA

    And number 7, I FEEL OLD. My goodness! You have no idea, this has been my sentiment lately. Seems like everything I do, everywhere I look makes me realized that I really no longer a teenager nor an early adult. I’m an adult, period. Oh geez, I really do feel like I’m a legit tita na.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s nicer when you’re anonymous but it gets hard to filter out all the personal information about yourself. Parang ang hirap maging totoo sa sarili mo! πŸ˜›
      Also, same. I just feel older than usual and nakakalungkot, in a way hahaha!!! Where did time go?

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      1. True. Before, I tried to blog anonymously but just like you said there were times that it was just hard not to spill anything about yourself so every time it happened, I closed the old blog and created a new one. That went on for quite a while for numerous times and I just found it tiring. Besides my goal for a blog is to be like my online journal, a dumpster of all things that floats my boat. But I’m not gonna lie, there’s just something interesting and thrilling about being an anon, yeah? And I actually miss that.

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    2. Also, ps. Thanks, Gerry! Hindi man kita kilala personally. You’ve been here with me years ago at talagang alam mo na lahat ng pinagdaanan ng blog ko πŸ˜›

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  2. I’m one of your newer readers and haven’t read your early posts but I can relate! When I started (2010), I only wrote about makeup and skincare because they’re superficial and I didn’t feel confident to share my ‘adulting’ struggles and other personal stuff I’m going through. But that encouraged spending so I stopped for a while. I still don’t know what I would do with the blog but I just write when I feel like it or when there’s a personal project I want to document. I also need an outlet. I find myself still preferring to write about the shallow stuff because it’s easier. Wish I could get back to when I was faceless though.

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    1. I actually used your blog and style in writing as an inspiration for how I want to blog moving forward. πŸ™‚ I like that you write only about your personal projects and skincare/makeup. I’ll do that and I’ll also just write when I feel like it (or write a lot and then just schedule the posts). I just really like writing cause it’s such a positive outlet for me. There’s something about being anonymous, right? I am semi-anonymous but I still wanted to delete everything and start from scratch. I loved reading this article about writing anonymously: https://lithub.com/my-year-of-writing-anonymously/

      Thanks for visiting and commenting, Rae. ❀

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    1. I missed yours too Amielle!!! πŸ™‚ (Akala ko ang tagal mo na hindi nagbblog pero hindi pala ako nakafollow sa blog mo? Weird.)

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  3. You do sound very grown-up, Kat, but definitely don’t be ashamed of #4! I often feel this way too. I was heartbroken and in my early 20’s when I first started this blog. I am embarrassed by some of my posts/comments and impressed by others. It feels kind of like a living journal or timeline that I can look back on. I used to journal, but with this last big move I recycled most of my journals. Books just get so heavy to carry around and it costs to store things when you move as much as I have been. I will still write, but I think I am leaning more towards blogging.

    Keep writing! I enjoy all of your posts and am happy that you decided to take your blog off private at least for now πŸ™‚

    ❀ Alana

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I loved reading my old posts no matter how immature or foolish it seemed but LOLOLOLOLOL I don’t think I want the rest of the world to read that! I was contemplating on putting the older posts on private instead of deleting them BUT I had to edit it one by one! With hundreds of posts I just opted to delete it. Thanks for being with me since years ago, Alana!! ❀

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sometimes it is really nice AND necessary to wipe the board clean for a fresh start. That is kind of how I felt when I recycled the journals from my twenties. Thank you for being with me through the years too, Kat!!! ❀

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  4. since I’m doing revamping/editing sa mga posts ko, binura ko ung iba na tawa ako ng tawa. puro HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA LOL kahit wala namang nakakatawa? or basta excessive HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it’s true, there’s always a room for us to grow and be better. ^^, aaaaand going anon is refreshing. I think most of those who started blogging to express/write (not earn or anything) are those who started as anon (I used to write and post ng mga 2 lines lang nung start kasi dump for my thoughts lang talaga ahahahaha), but at the same time, I still have this desire to be recognized for my words. im ambitious :))

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    1. I agreee!!!! We all start to be anon tapos we become ambitious and then (for me, at least) gusto ko na lang bumalik sa pagiging anon but ang dami na napost, ang dami na nasabi hahahaha so tawa mo na lang. It’s all part of our growth as writers and as humans!! ❀

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  5. Regarding dun sa #1, feeling ko kahit pa sabihin mong you can live without blogging, I’m pretty sure babalik at babalik ka pa din sa pagsusulat. Nasa sistema at pagkatao mo na ang writing eh. So kahit magkaroon man kayo ng LQ, burn-out or misunderstanding sa isa’t-isa, in the end kayo pa din talaga. Magkakabalikan pa din kayo ni writing. Heheh..

    So mag chilax ka muna kung kinakailangan. If you need more time, just go ahead. Laban lang, Kat. Fighting! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehehehe true! Pero naka cope naman ako ng one month kasi ang journal journal keme ako at dun ko na lang lalagay yung mas personal stuff. Yung ibblog ko na lang siguro yung mga travel (kung meron man) or yung mga mas inspiring na pinaggagawa ko sa buhay ko. πŸ˜› t.

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  6. 1. – 2. Live low-key, as they say, but blogging I guess is really our outlet eh no? Hehe
    3. If you’re not comfy to share more personal deets and whatnot, that’s okay!! As long as we get to know you through your blog hehe
    4. Engagement is key pero sometimes they seem pilit? Not only on blogs but even on IG posts hahaha sorry not sorry!! (and not specific to you, but like, generally haha)
    5. Engagement is important, but growth is importanter! LOL
    6. – 8. Write more about things that matter to you, that will make you feel good, this is your safe space! And we’re mere spectators. πŸ˜€

    Here’s to a better 2H of 2019!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I blog a lot about my struggles with mental illness. At first, I was really afraid to do itβ€”possibly subjecting myself to the harsh comments online doesn’t sound like something appealing, lol. But I went through with it anyway, because I want to share my stories. I want to put a face on depression, to hopefully educate people on the nature of that mental illness and to encourage others like me to seek help. So far, it’s going swimmingly πŸ™‚
    For what it’s worth, I always enjoy reading your posts when I log onto WordPress!

    Liked by 1 person

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