Week #7 Update:
For week seven, we didn’t do anything because it’s the holidays! I just wanted to give myself a little time off from all the wedding preps and try to enjoy the holidays. On New Year’s Day, I was legit freaking out because it’s only going to be a couple of days until our wedding. O-M-G.
Week #6 Update:
I was able to finally see my dress (in it’s most basic form). I honestly don’t know if I should freak out because it had absolutely no beading, the fit wasn’t that good (thanks to all the weight I lost) and the designer freaked out a bit when I said I wanted to see the beadwork/lace/embellishments in two weeks.
At this point though, I don’t even care about it that much because I’m more worried about where we’re going to live. Thanks to the holidays, the processing of our home loan is taking a bit of time. I blamed my boyfriend because I put him in charge of this. Of course, I regretted it instantly. I know it’s not his fault but I just really want this. I want our own place after all this brouhaha. The idea that it might be a couple of weeks late worries me. Where do we live after our wedding?
Week #5 Update:
As the day draws near, I’m getting worried and anxious. It’s not from not wanting to marry my boyfriend but rather it’s from the changes we’d have to go through. I’m not great with changes and breaking routines. I’m feeling all sorts of jitters as I slowly realize that the day is drawing closer. It’s freaky! Plus it worries me a lot that for the first few days/weeks of our marriage we’d still be calling my family’s home as our home. The processing of our loans took longer and now we’re left homeless.
I wanted us to rent a home/Airbnb/apartment for a couple of days but I don’t think that’s the right choice to make. We’d have to make financially wise decisions and renting just for a couple of weeks is plain stupid. We’re going to have to suck our pride or live separately in the meantime.
Week #4 Update:
The highlight of this week would have to be meeting our wedding coordinator. While we were talking, I can’t help but feel like she was judging us for our simple plans. I honestly felt like she was disappointed with what we’ve prepared so far. Her plans were also all so different with what we want and 99% of the time I felt pressured to say yes to what she was suggesting. Needless to say, our first meeting was a failure. I just really want a simple wedding. One where I can be with my family and friends to celebrate our love for each other. I will, however, think carefully about all her suggestions and decide if we want to follow any of it.
Week #3 Update:
We started off this week by visiting some of our primary sponsors. I felt sad when we visited my dad’s friend and he was sharing how time flew by so quickly. His fondest memory of me was that one time my dad was driving and at the same time holding me. (I know, totally not safe but this was back in the 90s so I guess it was safer?) I miss my dad so much and the mere thought of him not being there on one of the biggest days of my life saddens me. I just wish he would be there and say that everything’s going to be fine (and I could always go home when and if it doesn’t work out).
We ended this week by fighting. I’m infuriated that we aren’t going to be able to live together immediately. I am blaming him and he blames other people. I’m calmer now and I know what to feel (?) but too many words have been said. I need time to make sure we both know what we’re getting into. (ps. I know we’re going to get through it. I’m not causing unnecessary drama, but, I would like for him to realize what happened so it won’t happen again. I don’t want to nag at him that’s why I’d rather we take some time out first.)
Week #2 Update:
We’re finally in a good place. Mike and I have talked it out and, of course, we got through it. It’s a small hiccup in this big wedding planning stage of our relationship and I’m glad we’re both open to communicate. 🙂
I’m honestly getting too stressed from everything. It’s the perfectionist in me. I want everything perfectly planned and I want everything to be as smooth as possible. I don’t like it when I delegate to people and then they don’t deliver. I hate it so much. I’m slowly accepting that I have become a bridezilla. We’re also finding out that we have tons of things to do still – thank you cards, place cards (?), table numbers, registration table designs, etc. The list just goes on!
My friends were so sweet and threw me a simple (more like failed) bridal shower. I won’t be going too much into details because I feel this post is getting too long but here’s my new lingerie and my cake. How cliche but I really really really appreciate it! ❤
Week #1 Update:
Guys, it’s the last week! I still have a to-do list but it’s smaller. A few major updates would have to be my brother’s suit doesn’t fit him (we just wasted money) and I’m going to skip out on creating our video montage. I just don’t have the time and I really want to chill for this week. So, I’m saying FUCK IT. I’m not even comfortable with showing our collection of pictures, why am I planning to create a video of it…right?
With that whole video thing out of the way, I only have a couple of smaller things to do and the rest I plan to assign to our coordinator (who had the audacity to subtly tell me to stop asking questions cause we already discussed it). I hope things go well and we get through this in one piece! That’s the only wish I have…oh and also that Mike and I have an amazing married life together – one filled with communication, love, trust, and commitment.
Hey, guys! Thank you so much for sticking it with me until the end. Wedding planning is not for me. I may want a simple event but the details are what killed me. I am such a perfectionist that I just couldn’t let go of even the smallest details.
The lesson I’ve learned throughout this experience is to trust yourself and your instinct. Create schedules and stick to it. It’s all going to work out in the end. So plan a lot but prepare to let go of the things you can’t control.